Thank you friends

Wow, I almost forgot how to log in...I guess it's been awhile!
I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to my friends. I love you guys! Things in my life have been very tough this week, and it's so nice to know I have a shoulder (or two or three) to cry on.
Here's the thing (since some of you don't know). I've been seeing this guy from back home, and although we both said it wasn't going anywhere, and we both knew we weren't exclusive, I let my heart become too involved. I was over the moon happy. I wish I would have blogged over the last month, because it was crazy how I felt. That whole new love, honeymoon love period. Now, I know why I did it. He was safe. He loved me (okay, maybe love is a strong word-ha) 15 years ago, and I totally brushed him off then. He told me over and over how much it meant to him to be able to have this thing with me. I really really thought we were just having fun. I don't know when I let my heart get involved...maybe in one of our midnight 2 hour chats? ANYWAY....this past weekend he has reconnected with another girl we went to high school with, and he called me to tell me he was "falling in love" with her, and basically didn't want to see me anymore. So we both knew I'd let my heart get involved. Honestly, I was crushed. I felt like I put my heart out there, and this week of all weeks, he choose to trample on it.
I say this week because we are due to sign d-papers any day. I think they are at my attorney's office as I type. Have you ever dumped and been dumped in a 24 hour period? Yep, it sucks.
Do I blame E? No. He did nothing wrong, except have really bad timing. I'm just sad about it.

I have also really been questioning my God. Even before this week. I've been struggling A LOT with it, and that's something I've never struggled with before. I know why I was there (well, and honestly still am there), but questioning your faith is never an easy thing!

However, Tim and I went for a walk last night, and it was nice. We talked about alot of things, and I think we may be able to make this friendship work with him. We shall see. He's been very supportive of me this week, even when I don't want him to be. I think that's a good sign. Do I think we'll ever get married again? No. I'd like to say I hope, but at this point things are too raw to even say that. I guess I don't even hope.

So that is the continuing sega that is my life. Hopefully today, and this weekend will be the start of something new. I woke up this morning with energy, and I didn't cry the minute I thought of them, so maybe I've turned a corner. There is life alone. I just have to find it. (Even though I really really don't want to!!!) I don't want to be alone, but I'm going to have to make it work. I have to find somewhere between my estasticly happy place and the place I've been this week to live in.

So, thank you friends for your hugs. I really did need them. I know I still have my health, and my kids, and all that is good.